I was trying to clean my Windows laptop and check and back up all the files so I could migrate to macOS. I stumbled upon some old photos buried deep in a forgotten folder on my laptop. I remembered some of these pictures were posted in my Friendster account. They were not polished, and I did not even know what a good picture would look like. It was raw, unprepared, and the colours were slightly off, badly framed, the pictures were blurred, and phones back then had no auto focus functions. But something about it felt real, untouched by the pressure to perform or create. It was another version of myself back then when I was younger, when I did not have to think so much or worry about how a moment should be considered okay and accepted. This reflection led me to think, what if our lives, much like those photos, are already good and fun, just unedited without a second guess? It felt more authentic.

It Does Not Need To Be Polished 

Now in adulthood, at least for me, it is easy to feel our lives are rough drafts, it is messy, unrefined and always thinking that it is not ready for public viewing. Always doubting and seeking perfection. I often caught myself holding to impossible standards, delaying the start for so long, “ I will start when I have this”, or waiting for some mythical perfect moment when everything will finally click into place. But what if we have been looking at it all wrong? What if the mistakes, slow progress are what we should be proud of because we have to start somewhere, and without these, we will always be at the same spot.
I told myself that I would start writing once I had a domain and hosting. I procrastinated for so long and never started, worrying is it was worth it, will people would ever read on the website anymore, what people would think.
Worrying about how I performed during the interview when I graduated more than 10 years ago, did not expect to receive a call back, and it led me to meet one of my wonderful people, my manager. I remembered she asked me to give a talk to a crowd in the company spontaneously without getting ready. It was not perfect, and I stuttered and was searching for words, my heart was racing, palms were sweating, but I was glad I did it even though I was nervous. I was fully present and alive without even realising it. 
A few days ago, my parents came down here to visit me, and we had a wonderful few days, a long holiday in conjunction with Wesak Day. I was driving my parents around the neighbourhood and I was thinking whether my parents would be bored with me since this place is something new to them, would they like the food here, the environment, the place is smaller here. We ended up having so much fun together, sitting, eating, laughing together, having unfiltered conversations, and spending precious moments that belonged to us. It is such a blessing to have both parents with me. I get to hold both of my parents’ hands and walk with them. 

Embracing Your Unedited Version

Ever since I started walking, I discovered another part of my life worth sharing. Except when I am in focus mode, working or attending to clients, some of my favourite moments are the slow and unplanned mornings. I used to wake up rushing for almost everything, but I found out that the significant difference is waking up without the jarring sound of an alarm that pulls me back into terrible shock. I am sure you know that sound, right? It is the same no matter which tone you set. If you set the tone to a calmer tone, you are afraid it will not wake you up, if you set a jarring tone, the intrusive sound cut through the calm of a deep sleep and bring you to another panic state that reminds you to be faster, you are going to be late, think of what you worked last night that you need to present later, the pressure, the unchecked boxes on your to do list and so on. And there is another way to wake up. Read here.
But on these rare unedited mornings, the world acts at a different pace. You take your time, upon waking up, you are grateful that you are still alive and given another day, that a reminder that we always neglect, the night before we could be having an argument, worry about our work, our projects, instead of thinking negatively, think we are blessed to have another great day ahead. And of course, not checking social media or other people’s lives, just yourself and your bed. If it is cold or mizzling outside, you may want to linger a bit longer under the covers, stretch out the quiet moments and the feeling of your hand and body against the cool bedsheet, allowing your mind to wander without the pressure of productivity. You are not rushed to make your coffee, preparing and heating up some food for breakfast (potatoes, avocado, oatmilk), which will keep you full for half the day until noon. 

Just Write, No Backspace Needed

I have been writing for almost two years now, and I do reflect on how my career path used to be anything but polished. I started in sales, dressed in sharp, shiny suits, and carefully measured conversations. It felt structured, safe and predictable. After almost one decade of doing the same thing, I realised that it was not enough. I found myself with lots of questions yet to be answered, only to find answers that never fit. I found myself craving the freedom to write, to explore ideas without a script, to connect to people in different ways beyond just hitting sales targets, even if I have to learn and start everything from scratch. It feels uncertain, unpredictable. The comfort of stability is a blessing, the familiar routine, but there is something liberating about choosing the uncharted route.
The expansion of my interest in writing and digital marketing was not a smooth,  well-planned one. It was messy, full of second-guessing, late nights, and I found myself working almost every single day, more than I would before. There were moments of wondering if I had made a huge mistake for not focusing more on what I was doing. I worried about the future. I remember staring at a blank screen with the cursor blinking impatiently, waiting for me to strike a word. I silently judge myself, hesitating to start. The second guess, the what-ifs, the negative voice would not leave me, constantly questioning if anyone would care about what I had to say or if my voice would just get lost in the noise.
Looking back now, those rough patches were what made the journey meaningful. The awkward drafts it was a slow growth of my blog. With Google Search Console, I can see that there are growing visitors from different countries reading my posts here (Thank You:)D. I am glad I continued writing; they were all part of finding my path. Some posts were not polished, they were messy, unfiltered thoughts at the time, just like the old photos I recently found, they were out of focus, rough edges, unedited, but felt raw.

It is like walking blindfolded, trusting the instinct, the process. Sometimes you make a wrong turn, you hit the corner, you get tired and lost, but you also stumble upon unexpected views, meeting strangers, and I am also grateful to have readers like you, who made this discovery journey, one I never knew existed, meaningful. Maybe the imperfect or the unplanned moments are the ones that shape us the most. The doubts, the false starts, launching projects or ideas that never fully took off, the unseen struggles, the times we almost gave up but still carry on,  and the small wins we celebrate quietly. Those are the days that matter, that make the journey worthwhile.

Messy But Meaningful

The slow progress, the what-ifs, imperfect starts, the messy ones, these unguarded moments are what make our lives meaningful. Perhaps the masterpiece is already here, a work in progress, which makes the moments memorable and meaningful. We allow our true selves to show.
When you start walking, slowly and unhurried, even without a clear destination, or in an unfamiliar neighbourhood, you have no idea what to expect. You are curious to find out, by taking small steps, you trust your steps, even if it does not bring you anywhere, you take a wrong turn, at least you know that is the dead end. Along the way, you probably stumble upon some people or restaurants or appreciate the beauty of the architecture, the street lights, the signage. It is not the perfectly planned path, but it is always these unintentional detours that lead to the most unexpected discoveries. Sometimes we plan too much or worry too much, so that we miss out on the opportunities that come to us. Surprise often arrives when you least expect it. And it is in those unplanned walks that life reveals its beauty, a little messy, uncertain, and full of opportunities to embrace, appreciate and discover what we have never experienced.