Have you ever felt

You are at an event conference, and everyone is talking about the latest industry trends. Still, you focus on genuine work and making meaningful connections.

You feel like your friends and family no longer understand your choices and you are forcing a connection that is not there.

You are not there to compete, but just want to take care of yourself and they don’t get it, they think you are lazy or not trying hard enough.

People think you are not contributing enough, because you are quiet. Because I believe understanding is not loud or quick and it is not just visible to them.

People are talking about things that feel so distant from what you care about and when you try to explain, they think you are detached from reality.

People are stuck on the past version of you.

The response is not comforting. It is not agreeable, like a sense of inner conflict. It often comes with silence and pauses after conversations. A quiet tension between what you say and how others respond.

All because I did not feel the way I was living, spending and working reflected who I really was. I have always been this way. Just that I was really good at wearing another version of myself that felt safer, presentable and acceptable to others. That started happening when I changed how I live, work and spend. I am glad I stopped editing myself, stopped explaining and rather be misunderstood. The relief is quiet and peaceful. It felt more natural and freeing. I let go of the roles I did not want to continue anymore. I began to shift, walking over doomscrolling, reading or listening to audiobooks over endless social media feeds, enjoying my slow meals over multitasking, quiet over constant negative long interaction that drained me, introspection over external validation, simplicity over wastage, fruit juice and water over alcohol, honesty over harmony.

What surprised me was not the extent of my own change, but how uncomfortable and unsettled it made other people feel.

And over time, I noticed how those tiny choices created distance, not from the lifestyle I used to have, I realised the relationships that were no longer the same, more foreign to me. I could feel they were not what they used to be, less comfortable, less deep, more disconnected. It was not about me, it was about them unable to accept the idea I was not the version they had gotten used to. And I think that’s what people struggle with the most especially when you stop fitting into the version of you they have created in their heads. That version they created made them feel unfamiliar and that made them question or disconnect. A version probably I helped shape by trying to be adaptable and agreeable. It was resistant and quietly challenged the rhythm others are used to. I stopped playing along. Then you are labeled as strange or weird or cold or difficult. Just because you listen to your true self, quietly and slowly. I did not try to explain myself I used to. I would rather be hurt by the truth than deceived by a lie.

The Quiet Rebellion of a Simple Life

I did not start with a big step. Just one step at a time. I began to walk, more and consistently, not just for fitness but to give myself space to think. I walked more than I used to. The time I used to have my calendar full of back-to-back plans and social invitations, I chose to walk more, to reflect and listen to what was missing. I allow myself to pause before reacting. Room to feel instead of constantly performing, and a moment to appreciate and be grateful for the life I have now. As I slowed down, I realized there is so much of my life had been built around momentum that was not mine. I used to agree to avoid the argument which led me to realise only more miscommunication and disagreement happen later on. I stopped committing to group activities that left me feeling exhausted just to maintain the appearance of being social. I abandoned the need for conversations because I felt like I constantly needed to justify my choices when in reality, I did not owe anyone an explanation. The belief that I used to have, I needed to be always available, whether for work or friends because that was expected of me only to realise there was no real appreciation for my time or energy, which I neglected more important aspects of my life, my own well-being, and the relationships that mattered most. I ended up feeling little care for myself. By saying yes as default, I did not realise it was eroding my own sense of self. I started pulling back not because I didn’t care about others, but because I realised I could only give my best if I am taking care of myself first.

I started to enjoy slow mornings and walking as my routine.

This shift made me calmer, and more grounded. But to others, it did not look like progress. It looked like I had lost motivation.

People started making comments.

You seem so different lately.

What happened to you?

Are you sure?

Where is the old version of you?

You are not as social as you used to be

You are not engaged in group chats and plans. Are you okay?

Conversations grew awkward. Invitations to hang out or get together stopped coming. The calls and texts became fewer and fewer.

I felt like I had quietly opted out of the invisible agreement I did not realise I signed for being always available, always on the go in the ways others expected. It seemed like I had broken that agreement. The shift was not intentional and did not mean to change the dynamics of my relationships but it happened naturally as I started to redefine my priorities. Explaining myself only caused more confusion. Ironically, trying to make them feel comfortable with my choices ultimately brought deeper discomfort and misunderstanding by people I cared about. I began liking this new version of myself, rather than the person I felt I should be. I felt more aligned with my values. 

Financial Decisions That Don’t Look Like Success

One of the most noticeable shifts came with my financial decisions. I turned down a higher-paying role that looked great on paper but would have drained my energy, time and peace of mind. It may seem like an easy decision on the surface. One may think who would not want more money, right? But the truth was, the role did not align with the direction I wanted to take in my life. I did not want to be confined by one path and I was not sure whether this was the role I truly wanted. It would have meant sacrificing my time and energy for a paycheck, and I realized that was not worth it for me. But at the same time, staying in my current zone was not helping me either. I was used to playing safe in the familiar territory and after some clarity that was not going to get me where I wanted to go long term either. My comfort zone was not aligned with my aspirations or my values. It was keeping me stuck in a cycle of stagnation and I knew I needed more than just comfort that felt boring. I needed to build a life that truly reflected who I was and where I wanted to go and reach my true potential.

The battle between going for a higher-paying job offer and staying in my comfort zone was about choosing a life that was more aligned with my values and goals. In the end, that decision led me to pursue what I am doing now, work that excites me and fills me with a sense of purpose every day, something that aligns with my passion and values and allows me to grow in ways that truly matter to me. Yes, it was a difficult choice, it was messy and uncertain as I had to start from scratch which brings me a lot of challenges. But it was worth it. I did not abandon what I have learned and accomplished throughout my working life. Rather, I built on that foundation and added more alignment along the way, Even if others saw my path as a waste or a detour, I did not let fear or pressure hold me back. 

I found fulfilment in following my true direction.

I reevaluated my spending on shopping, reduced subscriptions, fewer upgrades that I didn’t actually need. I have always lived below my means so that I can pay more attention to things that matter. I did not want more to dictate my decisions.

One of the first things I did was sell my watch. One that I had bought impulsively, thinking it was a reward for myself. After a while, it did not bring me any joy and was not aligned with who I was or the life I wanted. I regretted buying it so I sold it. When I did, friends thought I needed money, but I did not explain much. I did not care what they thought and just moved on. After working for quite some time, many told me that I could afford a new car and more expensive clothes, so why am I not upgrading my old car. They said I worked so hard, implying I should upgrade. I did not change the car that has been serving me well for a new, more expensive model. I did not change to the latest phone either. It was not bringing me the satisfaction or fulfilment I thought it would. 

I did not need more stuff to feel complete. I realized that owning less was not depriving myself; it was about creating space for things that mattered. I started to feel aligned with my values and purpose by living intentionally with less stuff, less noise and fewer distractions.

But this change, also changed how people perceived me. Some did not understand. Others thought I was lazy or irresponsible for not keeping up and questioned my decisions. The concept of living simply with less without feeling deprived seemed foreign to them and honestly, I did not mind. I don’t mind looking poor in their eyes. I don’t mind people thinking I am struggling. Many people equate success with visible signs and luxury. And if you are not visibility progressing, you have failed. Instead, I felt much weight lifted off my shoulders as I was not concerned with fitting into someone’s expectations. It did not matter how others perceived me as I was more concerned with how I felt about myself. I was creating my own version of myself that I was not chasing an image of success or bound by materialism or the pressure to conform, just to look successful.

Having the realisation of having less is liberating than the belief money equaled worth. I realised it was about how little I needed to feel satisfied, and complete. And that desire to keep wanting more only led to more suffering and unfulfilled life. 

To Be Misunderstood is The Part of the Process

I used to think being misunderstood was a communication problem. I thought if I could just find the right words, the right tone, right context, people would understand where I was coming from. I would explain again and again, wondering if I said something wrong. But over time, I realised people misunderstood me not because how I communicated. It was because they were attached to a version of me that no longer existed. Or it could be my choices that challenged their own unspoken rules, or just simply refuse to understand. And I came to a point where I realized no amount of explaining could make someone understand if they were only seeing through their own lens. Now I understand being misunderstood is part of the process, often difficult to explain because I am doing something different.

If this resonates with you, it might be proof that you are finally on your path. You are not alone. But you don’t need to convince anyone who refuses to listen and understand. Save your time to keep going, intentionally, honestly and quietly. You chose a path that belongs to you.